


cross my heart

by moondanse



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Small Town, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Childhood Friends, F/F, Lost Love, Puppy Love, based on seven by taylor swift, snippets from the past
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26202319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moondanse/pseuds/moondanse
Summary: Of all the places to explore, Heejin likes Hyunjin’s house the best because it has so many stairs, and she loves to climb. There’s nowhere Heejin would rather go than up, up, up. Her parents often joke that one day she’ll grow wings and fly away — and she would, if it were possible.
Relationships: Jeon Heejin/Kim Hyunjin
Comments: 18
Kudos: 57
Collections: Girl Group Jukebox - Mixtape Round





	cross my heart

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to my first loona fic! :) tiny warning for allusions to child abuse - but it isn't explicitly mentioned at all. just a heads up that it is hinted at, though.
> 
> thanks as always to my lovely friends for helping me with this! ellie, amanda, and coco ur the real ones!!! <3
> 
> written for gg jukebox mixtape round, inspired by seven by taylor swift.

Heejin hits her peak at seven.

Back before things like exams, and political awareness, and the looming dread that comes with reaching adulthood — Heejin is happy. She’s carefree. She’s wild. 

Her childhood home is a quaint one-story nestled between the trees. She doesn’t spend much time there. Instead she spends her time in the weeds making dandelion crowns, in the creek splashing water and mud all over her new clothes, at the park swinging as high as the rickety swing set will allow her. 

Of all the places to explore, Heejin likes Hyunjin’s house the best because it has so many stairs, and she loves to climb. There’s nowhere Heejin would rather go than up, up, up. Her parents often joke that one day she’ll grow wings and fly away — and she would, if it were possible.

“Do you think ghosts live up here?” she asks, eyes alight with the kind of curiosity only a child could carry. 

Beside her sits Hyunjin, tracing patterns into the dust of the attic floor. Sunlight streams in from the window and shines against the black of her hair, giving it a glossy sort of sheen that Heejin has always been jealous of. She shrugs.

“Maybe,” Hyunjin responds. She doesn’t look up from her drawing, tongue poking out in concentration. “If they do, I hope they’re nice.”

“Me too.” Heejin gives a wistful sigh before jumping up with a sudden enthusiasm. “Hey,” she says, “If you were a ghost, what kind would you be?”

Hyunjin doesn’t immediately give an answer, but Heejin can tell she isn’t ignoring the question — she’s simply taking her time to think. Hyunjin is always like this; contemplative and careful, intentional in her every word and movement. Heejin could never comprehend how she does it. Where Heejin is abstract, Hyunjin is purposeful. Meticulous.

 _Pretty,_ Heejin thinks, as she waits for her response. Hyunjin looks so pretty like this, streaks of sunlight in her hair and lips pursed in contemplation.

“I think I’d be one who talks to animals,” Hyunjin finally says. 

“Ghosts can talk to animals?” Heejin’s eyes widen as she digests this new information. For a moment she doesn’t believe it, but ten seconds of thought and she’s already convinced. “That’s so cool.”

Hyunjin nods. “Animals can see ghosts, you know? It’s why Luna is always hissing at nothing.”

“That makes sense,” Heejin muses. She pictures Hyunjin’s fluffy cat, angry at a ghost for stealing her bed, and giggles. “I wonder how many other things exist that we can’t see?”

“Lots,” Hyunjin says, and she sounds so sure of herself that Heejin has no reason not to believe her. “Not just ghosts or other creatures. My mom says sometimes you can’t see happiness until it’s gone. That’s why we have to make sure to look for it.”

Heejin blinks. That’s probably the smartest thing she’s ever heard anyone say. Hyunjin is so _smart._

“I’m happy right now,” Heejin says. “I’m always happy with you.”

Hyunjin turns to her with a soft smile. “I know. I’m always happy with you, too.”

  
  
  
  


There’s one spot Heejin likes even more than Hyunjin’s house. She calls it “the rock,” though it’s really more of a boulder, towering nearly two stories tall. The rock lives deep in the woods, past the wooden play structure that burned down five years ago and across the creek. Someone built a rope swing on the path leading up to it, and while you don’t have to use it to get there, Heejin always does.

She dusts the dirt off her knees, ignoring the sting of where she scraped her leg against the rock’s jagged edge, and holds out a hand.

“Come on,” she calls out. “It’s not that high. I’ve got you.”

Hyunjin takes her hand. It’s sticky and rough with monkey bar calluses, but Hyunjin doesn’t seem to mind. Heejin likes that about her. With a smile, Heejin hoists Hyunjin up and they collide for a moment, heads knocking together. 

“Ouch,” Hyunjin whines, her face contorting into a pout. Heejin giggles. 

“Sorry,” she says. “But look, we made it! Isn’t this the coolest?”

So much is visible from the top of the rock. Heejin feels like she’s the queen of the world, unstoppable and invincible. 

“It’s cool,” Hyunjin says. She tucks a stray strand of hair behind her ear, nervous. “Kinda scary though.”

“Well, yeah. All the best things are a little bit scary. That’s why you have to be brave.”

Hyunjin bites at her bottom lip. Being brave has never been her strong suit; that’s more Heejin’s expertise. Luckily, Heejin is great at sharing. 

“Everything echoes up here,” Heejin says, eyes sparkling. She lets out an excited whoop and smiles as the sound floods the air around them. “See? It’s like the whole world can hear you.”

Heejin wonders what kinds of things Hyunjin would like the whole world to hear. She reaches for her hand and squeezes.

“What do you like to do up here?” Hyunjin asks. Her gaze is carefully focused on the ground below them, as if it’ll jump up and swallow her if she looks away. Heejin’s gaze is focused on the perfect pleats of Hyunjin’s braids, the little wisps of hair that curl around her face.

“I like to scream,” Heejin answers, matter-of-fact. 

Hyunjin turns to her with wide eyes. She clings to her hand a little bit tighter. “Scream?”

“Yeah! It feels good. Wanna try?”

Half an hour later they’re jumping down from the rock, breathless and carefree. Heejin laces their fingers together and thinks about the look in Hyunjin’s eyes as she shouted at the top of her lungs, the sound of her giggles echoing out into the trees.

  
  
  
  


Heejin has her first kiss at seven.

They’re sitting on the porch, sipping iced tea in an attempt to ward off the summer heat. Heejin’s hair sticks to her forehead in a funny pattern, her ponytail loose and messy from the day’s adventures. 

“Girls can kiss girls too, you know.”

There’s no preface to it, no buildup. It’s something Heejin has only just discovered herself, despite having two mothers — she simply never thought much of it. But now, with Hyunjin sitting next to her looking like some kind of fairy princess, she remembers.

“Oh. Really?”

“Yeah. Isn’t that cool?”

“It’s cool.”

Heejin asks her if she’d like to kiss, and Hyunjin hesitates for a moment before nodding. Their lips press together, sticky sweet, for the briefest of moments before they pull away.

Hyunjin’s cheeks are dusted a pretty pink. Heejin wonders if she forgot to put sunscreen on that morning.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Hyunjin says. Heejin blinks, surprised by the sudden request, but shrugs.

“Okay, sure.”

“Cross your heart?”

“Cross my heart.”

And that’s that.

  
  
  
  


Sometimes Heejin wishes she could bring Hyunjin home and keep her there. She’s even asked her moms about it, if they can adopt Hyunjin like they adopted her — but they tell her that’s not how it works, and that Hyunjin already has two parents who love her.

Heejin wonders if that’s really true. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like Hyunjin’s dad loves her. Sometimes he yells so loud that Hyunjin is extra jumpy for days. Sometimes Heejin meets her at the frog pond and finds her looking tired and sad. She wonders what could possibly make her look like that when there are so many beautiful things around them.

She savors the moments where Hyunjin is bright and smiling. 

Hyunjin shrieking as Heejin pushes her on the swings, laughing and begging her to _slow down, don’t push so hard!_ Hyunjin’s face when she finds a four leaf clover in the field and weaves it into the flower crown she was making, for good luck. Hyunjin with ice cream dripping between her fingers, because it’s melting too quickly for her mouth to keep up.

This is the Hyunjin that Heejin loves best.

This is the Hyunjin that Heejin misses most, after summer ends and her family takes her away unexpectedly. Heejin’s moms tell her they moved to the city. She cries for a week and refuses to leave her room — it’s the most closed in they’ve ever seen her. When she finally emerges, she runs to the rock and screams at the sky.

Heejin tells her parents she’s going to run away. She packs a bag, fills it with Hyunjin’s favorite dolls and some flowers (yellow, because Hyunjin looks prettiest in yellow). She draws herself a map of what she believes the city to look like and declares that she is going to find Hyunjin.

Her mothers, bless their hearts, let her go. They know that she won’t make it far, know all of Heejin’s usual haunts and how to keep an eye on her. She makes it as far as the elementary school before the sun begins to set and a kind neighbor drives her home. She falls asleep in the car and doesn’t wake up until the next morning.

When school starts up again, Heejin makes new friends. Another family moves into Hyunjin’s house, one with a dog instead of a cat. The memories of Heejin’s seventh summer begin to fade with time, blurring until she can hardly recall more than the pattern of Hyunjin’s braids and the crescent of her eyes as she smiled.

  
  
  
  


Heejin meets her first love at seven. At twenty, she thinks she may have met her second.

This new girl doesn’t have the same dark silky hair, and her eyes don’t crinkle quite the same way when she smiles — but the feeling of Heejin’s heart swooping in her chest, like she’s jumping off the rope swing deep in the woods, is all too familiar.

Looking at Jungeun, Heejin feels like she’s seven again, and anything is possible.


End file.
